Regrets!

After blowing a little steam last post, I am going to get back on track with some of the requests I have had for writing. Today, I am going to touch upon a sore subject for most people, Regrets. Regret is a common emotion many of us feel when we look back at out lives and wonder if things could have been better. The what ifs?, the could I's?, and the should I's? rain down from your mind making you feel miserable about your current situation. However, learning to cope with regret can also help you grow stronger as a person, and ultimately lead you to a life where you regret far less.

Regret often starts with a weak personality. In my case, that is where regret blossomed. I grew up lacking a lot of confidence in myself. My sister was the star athlete, and I was the scholar. While she developed an outgoing personality because of her athletic endeavors, I grew an introverted personality. I felt at times like I was not worth many people's time. As a result, I often did not speak my mind for the fear of reprisal, rather than acceptance. Even in the current time, I still find myself holding back from speaking about whats on my mind. I also try to rationalize this feeling by saying that I do not want to add unnecessary burdens to others. Yet, because of that attitude i have missed out on opportunities that I should have taken.

There are several things that pop up as things I regret. First, I regret holding back on telling several girls my true feelings from the start. Had I been clear and upfront with several of these women when I began talking to them, I would not regret the time I lost to trying to win their hearts. At times, I look back and realize how hopelessly romantic and naive I was. I still realize I am, but I am taking steps to ensure I am truly happy. it is about time, I considered what i wanted rather than try and comfort wounded people in the hopes of becoming a new lover.

Second, I regret not trying to be more active with people.  When I am hanging out at the local card shop, I see multitudes of people hanging out, chatting, and just laughing about. I wonder how many of these people could be future good friends of mine, if I was not paralyzed by the fear of rejection of meeting these people. The friends I already have already comment about how easy going and simple I am to talk to. So why do I lock up in front of others? If those people already think ill of me, that it is a lost cause, but what if they do not? What if they want to know me better before passing judgment? Who know, maybe these people could lead me to a new life or new people to mingle with and become part of my life?

Finally, I regret not thinking about myself first. I passed on a job opportunity because it would interfere with being with my friends. It has been two years since that point, and most of those friends have moved on, have different schedules or we just stopped talking. Yet, here I am, jobless, with nothing to show for passing on that decision. While I should live for my friends and family, I should only do so when I am truly content with who I am at that point in my life.

Hanging onto regrets can damage or destroy a person, if left unchecked. I implore you all to go back and think long and hard about what you regret not doing. Try to find the lesson left for you from that experience, and move on. Do not let that regret swallow you up and never let you see the sunlight in life. Trust me, there is too much darkness in this world for one of us to add to it.

Next time, Some sort of game review hopefully.